Sink or Swim
by massivelyattacked
Summary: Anders returns to Elirezara after a failed escape attempt. This is the second story I have written within the realm of the friendship between Anders and Elirezara Surana. It can be read in sequence between "The First Sunrise" & "Easy as Pie".


**This is the second story I have written within the realm of the friendship between Anders and Elirezara Surana. It can be read in sequence after "The First Sunrise" or as a standalone. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**

**[insert standard disclaimer here]**

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><p><em>Sink or Swim<em>

When Anders entered the mess hall, he spied the dark haired elf immediately. How could he not? She was rarely ever seated with anyone, so it was not a surprise that despite her small frame, she was still sticking out like a sore thumb. He had not seen her since he had been dragged kicking and screaming – more figuratively than literally – back to the Circle Tower. His most recent escape attempt was yet again unsuccessful. He didn't count it a failure however; he confirmed that he was becoming an excellent swimmer, crossing Lake Calenhad in record time.

Ignoring remarks made by his fellow apprentices, specifically about the black eye he had obtained from a very willing templar, he made his way through the lunchtime crowd towards her table. As he approached, he could tell she was fidgeting with her food – more moving it around on her plate than actually ingesting it. The fingers on her left hand were rapping on the table in a repetitive motion.

"Hullo there," he said, interrupting her focus. "May I sit down?"

Without waiting for her response, he slipped on leg over the long bench that she sat on and slid down on to it, resting his left elbow on the table and flopping his head atop his waiting hand. His robes pulled awkwardly between his legs where they were held up by the bench. She looked at him with a blank stare and then immediately turned back towards her plate.

"Humph," he belted out. "Some welcome this is!"

She glared into her food, forcing back the urge to launch a lightning bolt in his direction.

"Really Anders?" she angrily said. "You expect a welcome back after that stunt you pulled?"

"Ha," he replied. "So you haven't forgiven me for getting you involved in all that then…" He lowered his arm and head so that he could peer around the hair that was draping itself around her face.

"No," she said. "I _haven't_ forgiven you."

The day he left was the first time she had ever agreed to leave the Tower's walls since she arrived. It had been a gorgeous day to start – the young apprentices were invited out by some of the Senior Enchanters for an outdoor class in Herbalism. Few of them knew about the small garden that grew outside of the walls of the Kinloch Hold, and were excited to see it. That was what had sold Elirezara on actually going outside. She was not particularly good with healing magic and decided that she should learn how to use plants and herbs to balance out her more destructive powers.

When she had first stepped outside, she was drawn to the large body of water that surrounded them. Her gaze was fixated on the small waves that crashed against the shore – so much so that she hadn't heard the approaching footsteps of Anders and another mage as they came up behind her. She didn't even realize what was happening until after the two boys had picked her up and tossed her far into the water. Either she was extremely light, or they were far stronger than they appeared – or perhaps a combination of the both – for she ended up much further out than she should have. The lakebed quickly dropped off and she found herself in water that was easily over her head by several feet.

The elf's arms flailed wildly in the deep water, and she kicked frantically, trying to keep herself afloat, sputtering for breath. One of the Senior Enchanters rushed to the edge of the water, trying to coax the girl to swim towards the shore, but she did not know how. She had never even seen so much water so close, let alone immersed herself in it that way. She tried to follow his instructions, but made no progress as her head dipped lower into the water. Not surprisingly, none of the Enchanters knew how to swim either. A few of the templars that were with the group gathered around the Senior Enchanter; one of them began removing his armour quickly.

"Don't panic girl!" the man shouted to her. "I am coming." The comment certainly didn't help to calm her down, but she did her best to stay above the water.

"Just stay afloat, Elirezara!" cried out another Enchanter.

Several moments later and the templar was in the water, swimming to pull the elf from the bitterly cold water. No matter how warm the temperatures were, the water of the lake never managed to follow suit. When he reached her, she accidentally swatted him in the face as she flailed, causing him to grip her arm much rougher than intended. He pulled her towards the shore where the Enchanters were able to bring her out of the water. They sat her down on the ground and she coughed up water violently. One of the Enchanters, Mallory, kneeled by her side to assess her injuries and ensure she could breathe. She placed her hands on the girl, letting healing energies flow through her, clearing her lungs of fluid. Elirezara quickly calmed down, and First Enchanter Irving approached the group with a large blanket, having been summoned by one of the templars. He passed the blanket to Enchanter Mallory, who promptly wrapped it around her to warm her up. Under the watchful eyes of the templars, another of the Enchanters – Pietro – was permitted to use his elemental skills to warm her up. She looked around, blinking with wide eyes at the crowd of apprentices that had gathered around her. Some were snickering; others at least showed looks of concern. But there was one apprentice in particular that she scanned the group for – and Anders was not present.

A knot formed in the pit of her stomach as she realized that he had used her as a distraction. Her tiny hands clenched into fists and she fought hard to keep tears from forming in her eyes. She was devastated that he would abuse their friendship in that way; more so because she could have paid for it with her life. She knew he was making another attempt to escape the Tower. She almost hoped he would make it that time, though not because he deserved to, but because she feared what she would do to him upon his return.

It had been a month since he swam across the lake towards his third brief taste of freedom. The chaos of her near drowning let him slip clean away, leaving his robes behind on the shore. They hadn't discovered he was missing until several hours later, and when they found his discarded robes, they set out to look for him. But he was long gone from the lands surrounding Lake Calenhad, and it took them some time to determine what direction he had gone due to a mix-up with his phylactery. This escape had all the makings for a successful one – until Anders himself blew his chances with his attempts to woo a barmaid at a tavern along the Imperial Highway. He tried to impress her with some sparks from his fingers and his charming smile, but failed on both counts. She sent word to the templars in the Denerim Chantry and they caught up to him shortly after.

The fact that Elirezara had the time alone to allow some of her initial anger over the incident to dissipate didn't seem to help at that moment. She'd also received some horrible treatment from some of the apprentices during that time – they'd recognized what Anders had done to her and she quickly became a laughingstock. Still, she had thought about who he really was, and impulsive as the boy could be, she knew that he simply hadn't thought out the ramifications of the actions he took that day. That didn't mean she was about to let him forget about the incident though.

Anders laid his head directly on the table by that point and was looking up at her with his mouth pursed into a very specific pout. He blinked his rather large eyes at her pointedly.

"Please forgive me Eli. I didn't know you couldn't swim," he groveled.

"How? How could you not know that?" she growled back. "Or have you so easily forgotten our conversations about how long I've lived in this Tower?"

"But…you could have learned. Or had a natural predilection for the water. Or something…"

She brought her hand down and smacked his temple hard, causing his head to crack into the table where it was resting. "That's for nearly killing me in the lake," she cried out. She smacked him again. "And that's for making me look like an ass in front of everyone." She turned away from him quickly so that her back was to him and rested her elbow on the table, effectively blocking his view of her.

"Ah, Eli…I'm sorry," he said, placing his hand on one of her shoulders.

She quickly shrugged away from his touch, but did not respond otherwise.

"Elirezara, I mean it," he said. She considered that he almost sounded sincere – until she felt his hands land softly on her hips…and then gently pulling her back on the bench towards him.

She spun angrily out of her seated position and landed on her feet. "Do you think me one of your whores; that I will so easily melt at your touch and bend to your every whim?" she cried out.

"Oh no, I would never make that mistake," he said, obviously not meaning it to come out the way she interpreted. He watched her face turn an unnatural shade of red and she stormed out of the hall, turning heads the whole way. He heard a burst of giggles from behind him and looked to see several apprentice girls joking with each other about the display. Ignoring them, he hurried after Elirezara into the corridors. He finally caught up to her in the library and pulled her by the arm into a small alcove in the stacks.

"Anders, I am not in the mood to talk to you right now," she said, glaring at him.

"Why is it that every argument we have ends with me chasing after you?" he said, exasperated.

She stood and finally looked at his face without anger. The question he asked struck her unexpectedly, and she was uncertain of what to make of it. She couldn't help the giggle that quickly brewed up in response to his annoyed look, and was forced to stifle it. She reformed her face into a scowl, hoping that Anders had not noticed her momentary loss of control.

He quickly pointed his finger at her face. "You were going to laugh at me," he said, holding his finger at her nose.

"No," she said, pushing his hand out of her face. "Of course I wasn't going to laugh. Why would I laugh?"

"I was just going to ask that very question. You were going to laugh because you know it's true," he said. "You're always running off, and I'm forced to give chase to in order to resolve whatever the issue is between us."

"So why do you bother to chase me then?" she asked, placing a hand on her hip.

"I…I don't like it when you're angry with me, Eli," he admitted. "You're my friend." She watched him as he looked over her curiously. He never usually gave her a second glance, at least outside of the bounds of their friendship. But he was nearing eighteen, and having just turned sixteen, she was…growing up. He began to wonder why he never saw her as attractive, or as more than a friend…because she was, and she could be. He had just never taken the time to notice.

"Are you still with me Anders?" she prompted, interrupting his thoughts.

"With you?" he replied, confused. "Oh, yes. Of course. Yes…sorry. I didn't mean to drift off there."

She smiled a bit at him – he never got flustered the way he was acting. At least, never around her. It was a bit endearing.

"What was I angry at you over again?" she mused.

"You're serious?" he said, surprised.

"No, I'm not serious!" she replied. "Of course I remember."

"Oh," he said unhappily. "You do know that I'm sorry."

"So you said."

When he had escaped a month prior into the frigid water, naked and shivering, he swam as fast as he could towards the opposite shore. He managed to make his way to the remnants of the Imperial Highway that had once bridged the gap between the Circle Tower and the mainland. Treading water, he grabbed hold of the stones and turned back to face the shore from which he had come. He could see the commotion at the beach near the tower – and knew that he wouldn't have escaped without it. What he hadn't realized was just how much of a commotion there would have been. He never suspected that Elirezara would have required a full blown rescue from the water by a templar. He couldn't have asked for a better distraction. Then the guilt began to set in. What if no one had rescued her? What if she had drowned in the lake? He steeled himself against his own feelings and turned himself back around – he headed once again towards freedom.

When the templars caught up with him, her reaction was his first thought – even ahead of the punishment that he would be receiving for the escape attempt. He was certainly more worried about the state of his friendship at that point. He knew he was lying to himself, but for a short time, he _had_ been more frightened of her wrath than the anger of the Knight Commander.

As the memories receded once again, he was left there standing with her – and perhaps she would have been willing to consider forgiveness. "Yes, I did," he confirmed. "It was really a spur of the moment decision. The escape I mean. You know me…I'm always on the lookout for opportunity. Had I known how troublesome it would have been for you…"

"That's the problem Anders," she interrupted. "You don't think! You never consider the feelings of those around you, or the effects that your actions might have on others. You're so rash, and you make all of these spontaneous decisions, and you never give yourself time to really think about whether they'll even work. It's infuriating, because now you've tried to escape a third time, and the templars have injured you again. And if you try to leave again, they'll beat you even more the next time they catch you. And it's becoming really hard for me to be the one that you come back to first."

Throughout the course of her tirade, her face was becoming more and more pained. It hurt her to say that he'd be caught again, but she knew it would be the case. If only he'd take the time to just…sort out things before he did them. If only he wasn't so impulsive. If only he'd think about involving her. She shook herself out of continuing further down the 'if only' path and broke away from looking at him. He stood before her like a wounded animal that had been beaten by its master, yet still sought their love. He considered what he wanted to say to her, replaying lines over and over in his head, but couldn't open his mouth to let them out. Before he was able to reply with anything, she continued.

"I don't like seeing my friends get hurt, is all," she said.

"It's…nice to know that you care," he replied. "Don't know that too many people do."

"Oh please, Anders. You have plenty of people that care about you," she scoffed.

"There's a big difference between caring about me, and wanting to sleep with me. A very big difference," he grumbled.

"Least you have that," she sniffed.

"Oh, don't tell me," he said. "You're _jealous_!"

"No!"

"Yes you are," he insisted. "You're jealous that I have all these girls fighting over me."

"I'm not jealous of you," she stated. And it was true. Besides, she was only a little jealous of the fact that so many other girls had known Anders in that way. She had a different kind of relationship with him…one that they would likely never have. So she really had little need to feel jealous about the whole thing. At least that was what she would continue to tell herself.

When she looked back at him, she noticed that he had taken a couple of steps closer to her. He was leaning up against one of the stacks, his arm holding him up. And he was practically leering over her. Admittedly, she was not uncomfortable with him standing there…so close to her, but it was not what she was used to. Anders just didn't get close to her. It wasn't something that friends did. She could feel his breath on her ear as he leaned in towards her.

"You shouldn't be jealous," he whispered into her ear. "After all, you're the one I spend most of my time with. They should be jealous of you."

"Yes, of course. I'll be sure to tell them all that the next time they hurl their insults at me," she said, smirking. She was happy to hide what was really going on inside of her. It was something she didn't recognize. She wasn't supposed to feel that way about her best friend, was she? Suddenly she was uncertain about everything. All she knew was that she was dangerously close to Anders…and she liked it. More than she even dared admit to herself.

"Really," he said, "you need to learn to just ignore them. That's what I end up doing half the time. Otherwise they just whine and bitch and complain your bloody ears off."

He had stepped slightly backwards from her, and she found her breath again. "Yes, well. I should be going," she said.

"Wait," he called, grabbing her hand to stop her. "We haven't even really had a good chance to catch up."

She let him hold on to her hand. "Unless you're planning on escaping again so soon, we'll have plenty of time to do that in the coming days," she replied.

"You never can tell," he said, winking at her. "So…when can I see you again?" He inadvertently let his thumb stroke the inside of her hand.

"Uh…I don't know?" she replied. _Why is he asking me that?,_ she thought to herself. _He's never asked me that before…_ She was confused by the question and the thoughts that welled up inside her because of it. He had never 'planned' to see her before then. It just happened. They knew each others' schedules. If they wanted to find one another, it wasn't difficult. But there he was, asking her when he'd see her again. "I mean, after my classes, I suppose I don't have any plans."

"How about I come find you before dinner then?" he proposed.

"Anders…I'm…I'm not sure…" she started, looking down at the hand that he was still holding.

When he realized he was still holding it, he quickly dropped it and stepped backwards. "Yes, of course. I guess I'll just see you when I see you then," he said. She could sense disappointment in his voice, but there was something else there. She just couldn't figure out what it was. He started to walk past her.

"Anders, I…" she said.

He stopped and turned to look at her. "No Eli, it's okay. I understand."

She frowned, not sure what to say to him to help him to understand how confused she was. But she could barely think the thoughts, let alone say the words. She wasn't ready for the feelings that were starting to develop – wasn't sure if she ever would be. It was more important that they remain friends. He was her only friend, and she dared not risk that.

He continued to walk away from her. She turned around and watched him. "Anders?"

"Yes?" he said, stopping, but not turning to face her.

"I know it's not much, but I'm glad you're back. Let's get together for dinner tonight," she said.

"Thanks Eli," he replied. "I'll see you then."

As he disappeared from her view, she leaned back against the stacks and squeezed her eyes shut. She tried to process what had just happened. Was she falling for him? Was he falling for her? How had it all showed up out of the blue like that? Was it something he allowed himself to feel as a substitute for freedom? She had no answers. So she resigned herself to continuing on the way they were used to – friends until they decided to fight like cats and dogs again. And once again he would chase after her to try to resolve the situation that became inflamed. It was repetitive. It was comfortable. And it would have to do for now.


End file.
